Lavi Church

I’ve always taken my religion seriously…I know that comes as a surprise to some of you, but really, I do. Whenever things get thick, the first person I turn to is God. It probably has to do with my mum being a preacher, but I am convinced there is a God, Jesus died, and if I don’t follow his ways, I will burn in a very cold room with sound of a modem in loop. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who believes those things are cruel and unusual punishment) I differ from many in the sense that I don’t impose my faith on anyone; if you’ve heard about Christianity and have chosen not to follow it, I’ll never implicate you in ‘Miracle Crusade’. However, if you are interested…And before you label me a hypocrite:

1) Have I EVER spoken out against drinking under control

2) Pre-Marital sex is a sin…so is lying…let he who has not sinned cast the first stone

3) I am NOT a herbalist

4) Who are you to judge me?

I’ve always been compelled to go to church on Sunday morning. Regardless of the number of beers I had that morning or if I rolled in a car, I feel the need to attend a service…at MY church. I’m not convinced its because I’m Christian, it seems far deeper than that…because I only want to go to my church. But enyewe, that place has history; there was this one time I was playing hide and seek with my bro, during church(we were in Sunday school at the time), and he wandered into the main service. There were pews which you could crawl under (which we usually did), but with the hall filled with people, I couldn’t see him. Being the ‘Genius’ that I am, I went to the front of the hall, picked up a mic, and asked the congregation “Where is Mugane?”(LOL…your loathed name is public!). Till today, random churchgoers remind me of the stories, and pull the long lost relative vibe of “You don’t remember me? I used to carry when you were this small!”. Ok, I know I was a sharp little kid, but really…

Today, the topic was fasting. For all of you who are mteja right now, this is when you give up something you love doing, and spend that time working on your relationship with God. Well…I learned that today (Yeh I want a medal!). I thought I had been fasting for the last month(The root of all evil isn’t money…), but shock on me,  I was doing it wrong. Apparently, if you give up something, and you don’t use the time you freed up meditating on God, its not fasting…so what i’ve been doing for the last month was ‘aimless sacrifice’…life isn’t fair.

Moral of the story:

If there is something that you can’t live without, it controls you.

Can you live with that?

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MAD FUN!

My my, time seems to creeping along quite…lethargically.  Even  so, I’ve had so much fun, quite strange given one of life’s laws is:

“When things are going great, time speeds up, but when everything goes to shit, time takes a stroll.”

So I wonder to myself, should I do something incredibly fun, yet equally stupid, so I can be suspended in euphoria? quite a gamble, given that if things do go pear-shaped, I’ll have to (probably) sit in some cell in inda, trying to figure out why I did what I did in the first place…

Instead, I’ve began to do productive things like fikain the gym (don’t judge me), cooking (no, it not the same guy you know) and other random somethings…like this. What jazzes me still is the fact that I’m having fun…cleaning dishes! (no, I don’t offer services) Which has brought me to the realisation, of something I already knew…

“Life is what you make it”

I know what you’re thinking, this is the say bull you hear in any self-help book, but wait and ask yourself, do you enjoy taking a crap? simple question, but why does it depend on certain circumstances? Why does Kalamari taste good to some and bad to others, without regarding the texture, even though it doesn’t HAVE a taste? It cos u don’t want to like it.  This is why I live by the mentality of ‘MAD FUN’ (*said in a voice too quick to follow* “The blogger takes no resposibility for actions or consequences caused by the afformentioned mentality. This includes trying to apply the ‘MAD FUN’ princple to funerals”)

Moral of the story : MAD FUN!

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Bumming syndrome

Being a new edition in the ‘High School Leavers’ club, the first thing on my list, as with everyone else, was party…and so were the next 15, but still I bum. Why you ask? You could say budget deficiency, lack of sleep, alcohol poisoning or even the fear of chicken (lol…is there a scientific term?); at the end of the day/night, you’re still at square one. Thus the ‘Bumming syndrome’.

So then, how to counter this fiend? Do something…yeh, I know you expected something big, but hey, it wouldn’t be the first time (Rich Dad Poor Dad, The Monk who sold his ferrari, who moved my cheese, the secret…). Kaizen works for me, but it seemingly doesn’t work for my zack, who appears to believe I sleep all day…Doing something better than you did it the last time, or at least striving to prevents the syndrome…I think. So the moral of the story, beware the chicken that samas…(lol) but really,find something to do. Anything…constructive.

Moving on, it seems that alcohol tolerance seems to work like weight lifting. Ok, I knew that after not touching pint for 6 months your minimum threshold would be set lower(yanii, you get tipsy quickfast) , but ati your upper limit drops as well? Shock on me…

I used to think I was safe…I was shocked the other day, walking home (at around 10pm)when I noticed 3 cars with hazard lights on in the distance. As I neared I realised they were all security trucks, surrounded by karaus.  I turned the corner onto the road leading to my digs to find 3 more cars with their hazards on and like 15 more cops. Given my long disheveled hair, I hoped to God that none of these jamaas thought I was Mungiki, that was, until I saw the three dead bodies on the ground. 2 were on the road, on on the sidewalk, and all three had bullet wounds to the chest, and were bleeding all over(is f***in 3 days later and their blood is still on there!). I think i wasn’t so traumatised cos i’ve seen some else did on this hill, but still, this was so eerie. All the karaus seemed at ease, pedestrians looked in horror as they passed, and given that there was only space for one lane, motorists also coasted to get a veiw of the late ‘suspects’. So much for security…strange how I feel nothing as I walk at night, even though I now KNOW that my hood isn’t safe…

I’m fikain uni in a month…I’m really going to miss Nai.

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